A tech executive's operetta

With apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan's HMS Pinafore.

I am the very model of a modern tech executive
I know my jargon back-to-front, don't care if I'm repetitive
I have a PR firm that writes
10,000 words of techno-sh**e
Of which, my friend, it is your plight
To get in weeks, consecutive.

(He has a PR firm that writes
10,000 words of techno-sh**e,
Of which, our friend, it is your plight
To get in weeks, consecutive.)

There’s ERP and ROI and IT Architec-a-ture,
There’s Custom Inno-vative Value Added Infrastruct-u-are
And KPIs and CRM
And EDIs and ILM
For sales bids they all work a gem
To pitch the public sec-a-tor.

(His bleating on of CRM
And EDI and ILM
In sales bids all do work a gem
To pitch the public sec-a-tor)

Of gold and silver partnerships in business I am certified
With Microsoft and Cisco, Dell, Fujitsu (but not Macs, I tried)
Solutions that are end to end,
And horizontally extend
From SMEs to OEMs
To Heaven you'll have gone and died.

(His services are end-to-end
And horizontally extend
From SMEs to OEMs
To Heaven you'll have gone and died)

Yes I'm the very model of a modern major CEO
I'll draw your network storage software plan like Caravaggio
And if a virus or a bug
Infects you I will sure as fug
Make clear to you that you're the mug
Who wasted fifty grand or so.

(So if a virus or a bug
Infects you he will sure as fug
Make clear to you that you're the mug
Who hired third-rate cowboys-o.)

Comments

[Business conflict]

Tumi is the leading international brand of prestige travel, business and personal accessories. http://dodomarketing.blogtells.com/2008/10/23/business-conflict-resolution-is-non-rational/