[This appeared in yesterday's SBP. However, if you're a student, you may not read newspapers.]
You’ve made it! Your first year in college! You’re cool!
You ready to learn IT’s premier rule?
Though teachers won’t say, tis part of the bargain:
To get on in tech, you’ve got to know jargon.
There’s synergy, cloud IT, networks and tweets,
There’s end-to-end real-time collab’rative suites;
Believe me, young students, tech jargon’s the norm;
So here’s a crash course. In alphabet form.
A is for appware,
B is 2B,
C's co-located in cloud number 3.
D is for database, primed and configured,
E's the encryption your wrong password triggered.
F are the fragmented files o'er fixed wireless
G is a file-sharing geek who is tireless.
H is for haptical HDMI
(The kind made for hot-swaps and girlfriendless guys.)
I is an intranet IPv6,
Interlaced, interfaced (damn hard to fix).
J is for Java, oft-used to make graphics,
(The download of which tends to screw up web traffic.)
K is for knowledge and keystroke dynamics,
L is for legacy LAN economics.
M is for mainframe and services (meta),
Mix 'em. Ta-daa! Your 'modular data'!
N is a network-based enterprise force,
O's OEM won't accept open Source
P is for paradigm, portals and packets;
Point-to-point pipelines (a financial racket).
P's also proxies and public keys, too;
Peering and phreaking and Penneys soft shoes.
Q is the quantum your usage of Quark
Will tick off class tutors, whose websites will bork
R's the redundant reverse DNS
Your Ruby-On-Rails thing made into a mess.
S is your scalable, smart SEO
(Your tech mates on Slashdot will all exclaim: "whoa!")
T is for T1-based cloud telematics;
U is for nerdy Ubuntu fanatics.
V is for virtual, now in all things
(Though not online players in Lord Of The Rings.)
W is for wiki, X is ML.
Y is the yada that IT firms sell.
Z is the zoo you're entering now.
Where most act like sheep and all seek the trough.
Be brave o young student,
Your time has now come;
You too can use language
That leave most folks numb.
You’ve made it! Your first year in college! You’re cool!
You ready to learn IT’s premier rule?
Though teachers won’t say, tis part of the bargain:
To get on in tech, you’ve got to know jargon.
There’s synergy, cloud IT, networks and tweets,
There’s end-to-end real-time collab’rative suites;
Believe me, young students, tech jargon’s the norm;
So here’s a crash course. In alphabet form.
A is for appware,
B is 2B,
C's co-located in cloud number 3.
D is for database, primed and configured,
E's the encryption your wrong password triggered.
F are the fragmented files o'er fixed wireless
G is a file-sharing geek who is tireless.
H is for haptical HDMI
(The kind made for hot-swaps and girlfriendless guys.)
I is an intranet IPv6,
Interlaced, interfaced (damn hard to fix).
J is for Java, oft-used to make graphics,
(The download of which tends to screw up web traffic.)
K is for knowledge and keystroke dynamics,
L is for legacy LAN economics.
M is for mainframe and services (meta),
Mix 'em. Ta-daa! Your 'modular data'!
N is a network-based enterprise force,
O's OEM won't accept open Source
P is for paradigm, portals and packets;
Point-to-point pipelines (a financial racket).
P's also proxies and public keys, too;
Peering and phreaking and Penneys soft shoes.
Q is the quantum your usage of Quark
Will tick off class tutors, whose websites will bork
R's the redundant reverse DNS
Your Ruby-On-Rails thing made into a mess.
S is your scalable, smart SEO
(Your tech mates on Slashdot will all exclaim: "whoa!")
T is for T1-based cloud telematics;
U is for nerdy Ubuntu fanatics.
V is for virtual, now in all things
(Though not online players in Lord Of The Rings.)
W is for wiki, X is ML.
Y is the yada that IT firms sell.
Z is the zoo you're entering now.
Where most act like sheep and all seek the trough.
Be brave o young student,
Your time has now come;
You too can use language
That leave most folks numb.
Numb but impressed. Given the amount of jargon in I.T., you were probably spoilt for choice when composing the rhyme; fitting it together is another matter, of course, and doing it well is worth a bualadh bos!
Posted by: Stan Carey | September 29, 2009 at 03:20 PM